#JustSaying

There's a video trending at the moment in Ireland called "Just Saying"and never (IMHO) has the nail been hit so exact on the head.  The short perfectly sums up the feelings of frustration, anger, depressions, hopelessness and loneliness present in Dublin today, yet beautifully captures that sense of yearning for Dublin as we all remember and loved it.  The short is reminiscent of Ulysses as a chap monologues his way through boarded up Dublin by night where the streets are bare and empty.. yet still pretty somehow.

Over the past year, I have watched nearly all of my friends set sail for brighter, less wet & wind beaten shores only to be the "lucky" one left behind who got a job in Ireland.  Week after week there was leaving do after leaving do to attend until they all rolled into one giant "Best of Luck in Canada/Austrailia/New Zealand/London" speech.  I said goodbye to friends who were determined not to emigrate, only later to realise their futures had been sent down the Swaney when the banks were bailed out.  I also bid farewell to friends who were super excited to leave.  They went off to travel the world, broaden their horizons and meet new people!  It is my opinion that the glove is on the other hand and they were in fact the "lucky" ones as they got to leave.

Being Christmas time, I waited impatiently for them all to return, one by one on Dec 21st and never have I been so happy to see their smiling faces in Dublin Airport, Doyles and various other pubs around Dublin City.   This week, I have watched them leave again, only this time, many more months, perhaps even years will pass before we see each other again.  The goodbyes this time were far more difficult.

Over the Christmas period an expat friend remarked that while it was lovely to be home, he was glad it was only for a short time as this country was fucking depressing.  He described how he'd woken up each day to rain and overcast, dull grey skies, bad news on the radio, upset relatives pushed so far beyond their means that their Christmas had been more stressful than relaxing as the worrying about the January bills, the property tax, the PRSI allowance cut, the carers' allowance cuts, the child benefit cuts kept them awake at night.  Things had gotten more expensive since he'd left, there was constant talk of the recession, the taxes, unemployment, benefit cuts, suicide, crime and generally how completely fucked this country is. This got me thinking about the Just Sayin video except I think that the question is no longer "Should I stay or should or go?"  but rather "When can I get the fuck out of here?"  This lead me to create a list of reasons as to why I should stay at home in Ireland. "There's 10 good reasons to go but a thousand tiny ones not to. And I don't know which is which anymore."

Reasons to Stay:

1. Friends
2. Family
3. The Craic
4. My Job
5. Tea

Reasons to Leave

1. The expense of living here - rent, petrol, utilities, milk, food, clothes, the list is endless
2. Tax - 20%+41% PAYE, 4.5% PRSI, 7% USC, 21%VAT.  Compare these rates to Canada where the total Income Tax is about 25% in Alberta (PAYE is 10%), VAT is 6%. Ref.
3. The Loneliness.. With everyone gone, one doesn't exactly make a party, "Any craic? No yous fucked off"
4. Pay cuts, pay freezes, redundancy.  There are plenty of Jobs in Canada, Australia & NZ that pay quite well
5. Dublin Bus and Irish Rail
6. The weather
7. The depression & general bad buzz in the air commonly known as The Recession. It's on every radio station, every TV station, every newspaper, every poster around town.  There is no getting away from the fact that the country is fucked.  That really grinds me down, reinforcing the fact that there is just no hope left.  Economists are predicting many more years of recession for Ireland. (I read an article in the Guardian predicting ~10 more years of recession for Ireland but I can't find the source article)

When you put them side by side, the almost cancel each other out. When we remove #1 Friends from Reasons to Stay, #3 is rendered invalid as the Craic went with them. We're now left with 3 reasons to stay; Family, Tea & my job.  Indeed I would miss my family, but they're alway a Skype away and let's not forget that our parents moved abroad in their youth too. I will also learn to live without tea which leaves one reason to stay: My Job.  Given that I absolutely hate, despise and completely loathe my job, I reckon that's enough reason to move it into the Reasons to Leave pile.  

When I came to realise that my Job was the only reason keeping me here, I found myself completely speechless.   Why should something that makes me so deeply unhappy tie me to a country that can offer me nothing?  I understand that in hard times we need to pull together and lift the country out of this, but I didn't get us into this mess and neither did my parents. I understand that I went to college almost for free, my education was paid for but that can't be used as an excuse to make me feel guilty about leaving this place. Many other countries do this too! I didn't buy extortionately priced homes, cars and holidays.  I didn't lend millions to stupid developers only for them to declare bankruptcy and earn themselves a nice cosy job in NAMA on €140k p.a.   I didn't account for any of this and I was willing to muck in & help out but enough is enough.  I cannot afford to pay half my crap salary to bail out the banks anymore, to pay some stupid banker's €100k p.a. pension.  I can't sit here and watch as all my friends leave the country and I stay here.  I can't continue to sit still while rip off Ireland sucks the life and hope out of me. At the same time I'm so scared to leave because I haven't the first clue how to talk to people or make friends.  So I think me and many others my age really need to ask ourselves... Why are we still here?? Should we be sad to leave or sad we stayed?

New Years Resolution:  Quit my job & leave the country.