End of Term

Ok so this has to happen sometime.  I have to get over Mark.  It's been more than 7 months at this stage.  I canceled my last blog because it got too depressing with common heartbroken rants and I don't wat this one to go the same way.  It is nearly 4am on Thursday night/Friday morning.  He has until 2pm on Saturday to contact me and arrange something or I am giving up and moving on...for real this time.  Honestly.  I threw away something that could have been lovely with Brendan.  It's time to face up to reality and realise that I'm in final year and I can;t continue to spend my hours daydreaming over him.  I need to move on.  I need to accept that he is just not that into me. Maybe at one stage we had something that was great but that was a long time ago and I HAVE TO STOP!  I have to stop going over and over and over the same scenarios in my head again and again and again and realise they there's nothing I can do now.  I have to accept that he was a fucking HORRIBLE boyfriend, that he'd leave me waiting in town for him for hours, that he'd cancel dates at the very last minute, that I'd go weeks w/o seeing him.  That his idea of "let's just spend the day together watching movies in bed" is him sleeping off a come-down for 24hrs while I sit there awake and bored.  He's not a good person and he was an even worse and dis respectable boyfriend.  I need to move on.

You can spend, minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened - or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.

That's what I need to do.  2pm Saturday.  It has to meet a proper meeting where he actually shows up and something constructive emerges from it.  I'm not sticking around for his bullshit friends fables.  It's makes things more difficult. I don't understand his random texts about crap - they obviously hit at something -but I can't deal with that if nothing's ever gonna come of it.  So as of 2pm on Sat if I haven't heard from him - I give up and move on.

I can do this. I hope.